Cousins

I hate my cousins.  They’ve bullied me ever since we were little kids, and arriving in Australia, the bullying hasn’t stopped.  I hated them so much for constantly picking on me that at one point I wanted to go back to the Philippines!  I feel like a total moron whenever I’m around them because they make it a point that I look like one.  They make fun of me in front of their friends, they embarrass me in public, and they make sure I receive at least of 3 punches whenever I am within reach. 

Ever since I started work, I stayed with my Kuya Anjelo, his wife Ate Joanne and their dog Charlie at their awesome suburban home in SE Melbourne.  I was there for about a month and it was so stressful living with them that it was a motivation for me to find my own place right away! 

Anjelo is a control freak.  He loves to take control of everything and everybody because he wants things done his way.  After work, he tells me exactly which trains to catch and if I went before or ahead of him, he’ll get pissed.  He tells me what stuff I should buy and he even chooses my breakfast cereal!  And his plans, oh his plans.  His plan has to be done exactly how he wants it whatever the situation may be.  We still went, according to plan, to this party even though I was sick from food poisoning.  And when Kuya Ron, the eldest cousin, is around, they tag team to wrestle my face.  In their eyes, I am still the little boy they bullied before in the Philippines, and as they tell me, they’re just making up for lost time. 

His wife, Ate Joanne is a very opinionated person.  She speaks her mind and has no pretensions whatsoever.  Actually they both are, only I’m not used to women being like that.  For Kuya Anjelo, I always had a comeback whenever we have our little arguments, but I can’t seem to do that with Ate Joanne, maybe because of chivalry? …or maybe because I am afraid of her?  Yes, I think it’s more of that.  I am terrified whenever she talks to me.  I know that she thinks I’m a dumbass because every time she talks to me, it’s like somebody presses this button which puts me on stuttering idiot mode.  I swear I can’t have a normal conversation with her without looking like an ass.  It’s so bad I just wanna run away whenever I see that she’s about to talk to me. 

Together, they’re a total riot.  They have these constant arguments everywhere and in front of anybody.  They won’t stop until one has conceded and it takes a while before one does.  They are so loud and they’re not even fighting yet.  I saw them fight once, and it was more peaceful.  I also hate it when they drag me around to meet up with their friends.  It’s just that sometimes, especially on weekends, I have this mood that I just wanna lay back and stay at home.  I don’t enjoy anything as much as just being lazy around the house with my wife and son during weekends.

Maybe it’s because I have lived the past 5 years of my life independently and I am no longer used to people controlling my life, other than Trini of course.  And living with other people stresses me out, and so I have a tendency to make an ass of myself.  Also, I think that ever since I arrived here I’ve taken myself way too seriously for constantly trying to look “cool”.  Because back home, I am happy that people embarrass me, or try to embarrass me because I love looking like an idiot in front of people.  Trini and my close friends can attest to this because they’re embarrassed that I embarrass myself in public. 

But you know what?  That control freak of a cousin?  He guided me all the way from finding a job to finding an apartment.  He woke up with me on lazy Saturday mornings just to inspect houses that turn out to be shit.  That evil cousin made sure that I get to the right train so Ate Joanne can pick us up together so I won’t have to walk 25 mins from the station to their house.  He helped me buy the furniture and everything else and he made sure I always get the best deals.  He drove me around just so we can pick up the washing machine Kuya Ron gave me and also to pick up Lean’s bed from my Uncle’s house, I had to pay more than a hundred bucks if I had those things delivered.  He let me overuse his free VOIP so I can talk to my wife and my son every single night.  That uptight planner helped me arrange for everything just before they left for a trip overseas because he’s worried nobody else can help me with them.  The Kuyas took me out to the Friday nights I will never forget (nothing sleazy or illegal kids, just memorable parties), and took me to my first AFL game ever!  (Carn the Hawks!)  And as for his opinionated wife, she spoilt me when I was staying at their place by buying all the ice cream I can shove in my face and buying me my favoritest chocolate in the world, Twix!  She also cooked all these yummy noodles, especially the Bolognese, which she even taught me how to cook.  She sometimes prepares my lunch to bring to work and even puts in yogurt for desert, so I’ll have a healthy tummy!  Ate Joanne even bought me a supply of snacks so I won’t get hungry in the office.  And together, they can be the sweetest couple ever.  They have what every marriage should have, constant communication.  They’ve been together for ages and still they talk about anything and everything.  Yeah, they love to argue, and when they do, they argue like cute little brats.  They bite, they punch, and they hug each other a lot.  They’re very smart and funny people and I have learned a lot from them.  And as for that eldest cousin who’ve always threatened me with a slap of his backhand?  He gave me almost half of his dresser and his good as new appliances to help me settle in.  We always have lunch together and catch up since he works only a couple of buildings away from me.  He always made sure he passes to me a bit of his knowledge in investing, and also gives me tons of advice.  There are two more cousins by the way, the eldest girl, Ate Rhobelle is in London fulfilling her dreams of working and travelling Europe everyday, and the youngest of the siblings, Marienne (aka Yenny) who, although I don’t get to see often, never lets a day pass without saying hi and asking how I am doing.  She’s the sweetest of them all.

Every single one of them has a huge contribution for what I have right now.  I couldn’t have done anything without their help and making the Kuyas happy through all the bullying is the least I can do.  There are times I feel like an old 27-year-old and when I’m with them, it kinda feels good to be treated like a bunso again.  This has been the longest time I’ve spent with older blokes in a while, since I don’t get to see Tom very often.  I feel like an ass because I didn’t appreciate them at first. 

Kuyas will be kuyas, they can be dickheads but they’re the dicks who looks after my ass.  Yes, that sounded gay.