Snoop-Jobby-Job

June 4, 2008

My first ever work experience outside of the Philippines was inside my cousin’s backyard.  I helped him fix their garden and we did a pretty good job, I think.  Because we had to do everything ourselves, I asked my cousin if there is no cheap labour in Australia.  He told me that I was his cheap labour – I was his Mexican.  I seriously need to tone down my racial jokes, because the day might come that I would be on the receiving end, and surely I won’t like it.  So I apologize, peace out mah nigg@s! 

 

First week in Australia, my face was stuck to www.seek.com.au.  I think I’ve submitted more than 50 applications and luckily some actually had replied.  Well, less than half did, but I was expecting no one would, so I still beat my expectations!  But being Mr. Panic Face, I was already applying for jobs in Australia since November 2007 while still in the Philippines.  I have used company time for looking for another job and have used company phone for phone interviews.  It’s a good thing that I didn’t get an offer right away or else I would have spent a quiet fireworks-free Australian New Year.  Some of the replies I got have arranged for us to meet up, and it pleases my relatives that I have stuff already lined up once I arrive Australia.  The market was good, and my timing was great!  And this is all brought to you by the word “frank”.

 

The first workday after I’ve submitted my resume online over the weekend, I was on the phone all day.  Agents were calling and asking if I want their representation.  I was humbled by the experience because I honestly thought my applications won’t be noticed at all.  The market was just so good I was even asked to sign up for a Sys Admin job on the spot!  But I was kind of suspicious why that tracking company was so eager to hire me right away.  They even offered a higher salary than my asking price!  If it wasn’t for my cousin’s advice I now would’ve been working at, as they have put it, an Australian version of Tondo. 

 

Going to my 3 interviews (I got to schedule them all on one day! Sweet!) I nearly threw up because of my cousin’s driving.  They’ve been living in Australia for more than 20 years now and it’s great to know that there’s a still a hint if Pinoy in him.  He’s like a Jeepney driver with diarrhoea on a 5pm Baclaran day.  So anyways, going to my first interview after five years, I was nervous like a goat around Ilokanos drinking gin.  (Maybe I should stop now with the analogies?  Yes?) I forgot lines from my ready made answers, I was sweating all over, and I even let out a few Filipino words like “ano…” and “opo”.  But I think I still appeared confident enough of what I was talking about that I got a 2^nd interview from this midsize software company. 

 

Well, I got through that 2^nd technically inclined interview enough that I am now working for them and currently using their laptop to do my long overdue blog about what’s happening with me down under.  So, what really is happening you ask?

 

I’m having a huge case of déjàvu.  This is exactly what I’ve been through when I first left home after the summer of ‘97 - it’s like college all over again!  A promdi boy going to the big city with his confidence level on a high knowing that he was “cool” and the city boys can kiss his ass.  But once he stepped in, the boy saw how big the arena really was and realized that there’re of people way “cooler” than he is.  He tried so hard blending in, but failed most of the time and sometimes just looked stupid in doing so.  His confidence went low and he realized he wasn’t so special after all.  And he also realized that he should stop at once from speaking in the third person. 

 

My first weeks in Manila, I got to hang around with Tom’s frat brothers.  The moment he introduced me to them I was immediately intimidated.  I thought that they were all so cool and I was just in awe every time I was around them.  It was like being at the backstage of a rock concert where everyone you pass by seems to be awesome.  The same thing went at school.  I tried to look for the same kind of friends I had back in high school, but all I saw was those coño manileño dickheads.  I was so pressured to adjust that I even tried to change everything about myself just so I can blend in.  I didn’t wanna be that punk kid from high school anymore, instead I wanna be like those coño manileños and have the same accent and the same arrogance that they had.  Eventually I felt uncomfortable about the whole thing and at the end of the day I’d just run back to my old high school buddies so I can feel accepted for who I really am.  But now, who the hell do I run to? 

 

It’s been 2 months now since I started working, and I cannot truly say I have already settled in at my new workplace.  I guess it shows whenever I look around my desk.  I have not yet put photos of my family there and I don’t keep it clean.  Back in the Philippines, you can see from a mile away where my desk was because it reflects my personality and at the moment I have not yet felt that same comfort. 

 

Before going abroad, Trini asked me if I was not afraid about starting a new job.  She told me that I was already good where I was, I have tons of friends in the office, I was comfortable and people actually love me there.  She said that these might not happen once I start working in Australia and asked if I was I not afraid of that.  My loving wife knows me all too well and I did not realize that it might actually happen until I did start to work.  At the start, my confidence level was high.  I tried blending in and running up to people, but again, I was just awe stricken with the Aussies.  I was intimidated again because they all seem so smart and funny, which I think I can be, but not in their language.  Hell, I am charming in Filipino!  I didn’t realize how hard it is to tell a funny story in English!  I can definitely do it in writing, but I cannot do a backspace or a shift-F7 in a conversation now can I?  So, afraid that I’ll just ruin a joke, I lose confidence, stand back, smile, and nod during conversations and be the stereo-type weird foreign dude.  Sigh.  I am a bit depressed because I am no longer the office clown.  And guess who is?  The guy sitting right next to me.  Thanks for rubbing it in.  By the way, I am the only Filipino out of the 180 something employees. 

 

But I firmly believe that history will repeat itself and I can one day find my comfort zone somewhere around the offices of Melbourne (or maybe, nay, hopefully inside my current workplace).  Only then can I be comfortable at my desk again and put tons of pictures of my family everywhere and keep it sparkling clean while cracking racial jokes around my Aussie friends.  Oh well, at least I have awareness of the problem, thus my dilemma is curable.  It’s not that I am not trying to do anything about it.  Everyday I make it a point that I talk to somebody and sometimes try to join people’s slang and accent filled group conversations and not just nod and smile, but say complex things like “Yeah” or “Uh-huh”.  Seriously, I see this as a challenge because from my experiences, for instance moving to different apartments in Manila, I make sure that I make friends everywhere we go.  I have not failed then, why should I fail now?  I’ve also signed up in lots of programs and clubs so I am exposed to meeting new people.  I will catch up, I am sure of that, but it may take a little time.

 

To end this entry, I will say one of the most serious things I will ever say in this entire blog spot or maybe, in my entire life.  I wish I was Fez.  Nobody ever understands what the fuck he’s talking about, but the crowd (even though they’re canned) still loves him.  He’s still a bit weird but what’s wrong with that?  At least he’s not trying hard to be like the other guys.  And just being himself makes him more interesting, more accepted.  After 10 years in the show he still is the weird foreign dude, and I’d like to be THAT weird foreign dude IF I too am hitting it with Jackie!  I wish I also had that accent.  And that lisp.  Maybe I should try talking like that at work, then people will love me.  They will love me.  I WILL MAKE THEM LOVE ME.